Sunny Day

Everyday begins with the sunshine, but you manage to gloom it down
with the clouds you have that surrounds you.

Everyday I wake up hoping that today will be better, but then you
manage to remind me that it's worse than yesterday.

Everyday I hope that today will be the day you realize you love and
respect me, but then you manage to remind me that you don't.

Money can't buy what I want from you, I want unconditional love, time,
patience, and kind words. But you manage to remind me that you work so
hard to give me everything else, so FUCKING appreciate!

Can't run away and hide from what we started, we've made all these
scars n dents along the way, it's not fair to each other, that we
don't try harder, it's not fair to our children.

I wish I could make you see that I'm not the bitch you label me to be.
I wish I could make you see that I'm not trying to be against you, but
trying to be your partner. I wish everyday could be a good day. I wish
everyday could be better than yesterday. I wish you could see that I'm
not out to make your life miserable everyday, I'm not that evil, it
would take too much of my energy.

And so I hope for the best today, almost knowing, that it'll be, what
we make it...

Sent from my iPhone

* Say something nice today, because tomorrow could be too late.

PaFoua

Now Hiring...

someone to listen to my every complaint
someone who knows my faults annoying habits my ugly
and still loves me for me
someone to keep my secrets a secret when i tell them
someone to know that i try my hardest to be what everyone else likes, wants, needs,
but doesn't judge me when i'm let go of myself...

I promise to give you the same in return.

The ONLY Girl...

Want you to make me feel like I'm the only girl in the world
Like I'm the only one that you'll ever love
Like I'm the only one who knows your heart
Only girl in the world...

Like I'm the only one that's in command
Cuz I'm the only one who understands how to make you feel like a man, yeah
Want you to make me feel like I'm the only girl in the world
Like I'm the only one that you'll ever love
Like I'm the only one who knows your heart
Only one...

This feeling...

I dont like this feeling I have inside of me.
He makes me someone I 'feel' I'm not.

He makes me feel so angry.
He makes me feel so ugly.
He makes me feel so depressed.
He makes me feel so insecure.
He makes me feel so low.
He makes me feel like I can't do anything.
He makes me feel like I'm nothing.
He makes me feel like I'm lost.
He makes me feel so dependent.
He makes me feel so everything but what I what I should feel
in a safe, committed, loving, and unconditional relationship.

We're fracking 30 with 4 kids.
When do we grow up.
When do we communicate like adults?
When do we start having the same goals for our family, our children, our days, our evenings, our weeks, our years, our future, our savings, our daily budget, our life, our relationship?

When will this feeling inside me grow beyond what I feel, without falling out?

Finally

Finally, I got my blog to work from the iPhone of my life.

Sent from my iPhone

* Say something nice today, because tomorrow could be too late.

PaFoua
Cell (651) 260-6048

Its me

My focus on his family and friends, is and was never what he wanted.
I thought that my focus on him and what he 'wanted' was what he wanted.

I didn't realize that he wanted me to focus more on his frustrations.
Although, he gets frustrated everyday, what's the fucking difference,
I thought, but really...I cause it, I caused it.

He wants me realize and be more sympathetic to what he 'feels' an
not what he 'wants'. I can do that. I love him, why not.

But when he says that this roller coaster ride, feel free to not include him
in that, its not what he wants...well, I take it to heart. I left the room after that,
it was the last hurtful words I wanted to hear....

Why do I have to think its all about me.

Making it Official 2010

My request this year it to make it official.
No more LV purse, no more vacation weekend, no more dinner,
we can do that any time we want.

We have come a long way.
At 14 we met, we fell into puppy love.
At 16 we made a life commitment, despite our youth and our families.
At 17 I was working on the ginsing farm with you and your family.
At 18 we brought ThimXa into this world
and then added Izabella, AudreyAna, and Ezekiel to complete our family.
Now at 33, through the good and the bad we've come a long way to have
made it to 17 years of marriage, four children, and a business...

I'm ready and happy that we are going to make it official.
I'm so proud of us.

I can't wait to share our 20th anniversary, on the island, with our closest and dearest family and friends.

We've come so far, worked for so much.
This year, I'm ready and want to share your last name.

Giving up...

Everyday, I find myself finding, knowing, and learning more about life everyday.
My own life, my own families lives, the lives of the strong Hmong women that
have gone through so much, and still live to tell it everyday.

If we can get past this midlife crisis stage and be old, maybe we might be fine.
I don't know what to do, I'm drowning in truth. And the truth hurts. No more
childlike disillusion, no matter how much I try to cover it up, the truth of life
and getting old keeps poking its head up.

You never know, it may happen to you, how will you deal with it? How will you go on?
How can you win this fight for life, with your husband, with your kids, with yourself, with health.

When I think about it, I feel like giving up and think 'what if' I didn't take this path?
What if, I would never had had so many years of good with my husband, with my kids,
with my extended family. What if? What if my life was worse...what if it was better?

When I think about, just let it all fall into fate, then I think to myself, is fate really real?
Or do I manipulate my life to be where I would like it to be, to where I want it to be?

I've come this far, I don't want to just jump off, and fall into the darkness of fate...
I can't jump off, I can't fall now, I have come so far, I must go on, I must climb up
on this cliff, and make the best of my life, wherever it takes me. Letting my life be
what it is, and not live in envy, jealousy, or fear of whats to come or what has happend.

I must learn to just live. Just breathe. No one can be perfect. Nothing can be perfect.
Survive. Don't quit now. Things happen for a reason, and if good things happen, then
accept them humbly, if bad things happen, accept them as obstacles to overcome.

I have to just breathe and live.
I love my husband. I love my kiddies. I love myself. I love life.

Dear Husband,

I dont tell you much, although in my mind I did.
I appreciate you. I love you.
I see and feel everything that you do and did for me.

I loved you when we were just kids.
I still love you so much now.

After 17 years, I'm feeling insecure, because I think we have grown apart,
I dont know how to show you that I love you so much
or worry so much, and at all the wrong times, my anger creeps in,
when I should be forgiving. I know I will work on that.

I'm sorry, I embarrass us from time to time. I'm sorry for my foul
mouth. I know that if I do as you do, say as you say, we won't work.
I have learned so much from the elders that I live and work
with. There has to be patience and then more patience.
The outcome will be better.

We will grow old together. We will love one another.
Please forgive me. I know I am not perfect. I know I
have a short temper. But I am your wife, I will have to
control it more often.

Living Loving & Laughing
We've come so far with eachother.
I want us to go farther with eachother.

Appreciate eachother.
Love eachother.
Forgive eachother.

I love you husband.
I love our life that we've built together.
I love and appreciate everything we've done together,
been through together, and want to share the rest of everything together.

I want to share this with those who are reading it.
I love my husband. I appreciate my husband.

I dont tell you all enough. As with anyone and everyone,
we focus too much on the bad stuff...and forget the good stuff
until we actually sit down to take it in.

* Anoi

Getting old...

working with older wiser and those who have lived a whole lot more than i...
i'm starting to see that, in our hmong community,
i dont know about other communities,
i'm sure they're all the same...

i realize that its not easy being hmong woman and old...
i see those who have been married
for just about ever, the they are lonely in their marriages,
kids are grown with their own families
to tend to, and the husband who has lost interest
and now having companionship with other
women who are looking for a husband to secure their hmong life,
and are single,
due to a death of their significant other or divorce, etc.

its hard...what side of the grass is greener?

the married hmong woman, has the married name,
but her husband is never mentally or physically there?
but they are still called to family functions and they
go together, because, just because the kids expect it
...and she still feels the sadness that he doesnt love her anymore,
and  is enjoying his time and conversations with another...

or is it better to be the single hmong woman, who is ridiculed
and looked down upon by married hmong women, who think
she is looking to steal her husband, but she does have the full attention
of that husband that will talk to her...and they will truly enjoy being
with her...and talking to her, and paying attention to her?

hmong women never win. its such an unhappy life.
we live it, we dont love it, but we dont want to leave it
unsure of what's to come, hate to lose the 'husband' who doesnt
love and appreciate you anymore.

our lives and decisions arent easy, i see it in every stage of
a hmong womans life, i see it in the elders that come to my center
i see it in my mother in laws age group, i see it in those just a tad
older than myself, and of course there is my age group that is coming
to that fate, if not already in it... and then we lose all hope for those who
are getting married and currently so happy to begin their lives together
with the one they chose to marry... it's so sad that i think that marriages
wont last forever...its just temporary, something to do while we're living,
because men are so selfish and we women, will nag and push them to get out,
even though we dont want them to.

its sad to know that for generations and generations,
hmong women never make the decisions,
letting that 'husband' dictate our happiness...
because we are afraid to make a decision
and are afraid that if we make that decision and it becomes
a mistake we can never go back, like 'husbands' can...

i had/have a loving 'vang' family with no known divorces in my immediate
family...but i was very sheltered, i guess, now i'm grown and thrown to see
the real world...its so scary and the truth is always so unhappy and hurtful.
it stabs you over and over but you're still alive, you can't die to stop the pain
you just keep barely making it.

have a great day, and a great life.
because you dont want to always regret.

Scary...

Fun for those youngsters...scared that my husband will kill my brother,
out of manliness.

Good day yesterday. Good thing he was the baby brother, didnt have to
prove too much with those big wannabe guys...the first night, went well.
He got here, we had a bbq for him, then off to bed everyone goes...work.
Then Thursday, fishing pontoon day, was a great day on the river for all
even my little kiddies...kinda scary though, all those kiddies and then a
cooler full of beer. DAMN them!

After it all was burnt, full of heat n sun, starving, we came home to bbq off
the last of our meats. Drink again...good thing  my brother was so tired
he didnt let them push him into any further drinking, when enough came
around and his stomach was filled with bbq meats n beer, off to bed he went
without a care in the his thought for all the stupid clowning stuff that my
husband likes to do... that's great.

Tonight, my Thai comes in...theres the drink show off... but he's big and
maybe he can handle it... with all my uncles at the wedding too, we'll see.
We'll see who comes, who doesn't. We'll see. I want my brother to go the
the wedding, because it's our family, but also want the girls not to forget him
for any other late night outings. I want him to have fun, but not overdosed...
my parents would totally KILL me!

The grass is greener...

So my husband says to me...'Pick a side', not everyone will like you,
there will be some who like you and everything about you, those who
only like you sometimes... and there will be those you will be enviously hating you,
because they don't have what you have and like what you like, and then
there will be those who just plainly don't like you.

I keep dreaming about her, and she's not even a great
friend, but the friend, who used to be
a friend, I met her back in High School, we became
friends, and now she's married to them, and they hated
her, but more importantly they hate me, so she tries
so hard to be on their side, and hates me along with
them...how long will that last. I just, in my own delusion
think that I didn't do anything wrong and that she
being my so called 'friend' should think for herself
and not follow the group...ugh oh well...

I guess in life, people are always thinking that
grass is greener on the other side...little do they know that
...its kinda dark in the shadows, patchy spots of yellow mugness,
and then of course there are those perfect spots of fabulously
green grass...

Everyone worked for what they have...

I think I worked hard to get to where I am, and for what I have.
But I dont have everything. I guess some people are envious, some
are jealous, and thank goodness for those few who are genuinely happy for me.

I'm getting old, have four almost to be grown children, I guess its
right like my husband says...'Pick a Side' and I guess I should
think, to be my good friend, you know that I have my crazy ADD disorder
but you still love me, know that I more than occasionally say things that are inappropriate
but forgive me, because that's me...I'm mid life...if you don't like it, you won't like
me, I couldn't change it before, I can't change it now so that you'll be my friend.
I have my crazy quirks, but if you know me, I genuinely love my family and friends
and if you're in my circle...I do anything for you...and mostly not ever ask for anything
in return, not even payment...accept for tolerating me...genuinely.

I grew up with my husband and then quickly grew a small family
within the extended family, so I didnt have 'time' like most to make
friends and go out.

I followed the directions of all my parents both IL and my own to
hopefully not make a mistake and only get the best of it

Just now am I getting to live life to the fullest, having come almost
fully circle, with my husband, my children, my inlaws, my career, my business,
my happiness, and coming up soon here, my reestablished credit and hopeful
money generation for my future.

Don't think that I didn't work for it. I did.
And now my grass is mostly green...don't hate.
Just work on yours, it'll get there soon.

Little Black Dress...

With my cousins wedding a week away...I haven't taken the initiative to go shopping
until last night...spent the sunny part of the evening indoors at Mall of America...boo hoo me.
I know I have some dresses...BUT i wanted to get another...or two.

I get to thinking...should I do the simple black dress? NAWWW the many others definately will...

I could wear something as crazy flashy like this...but then again, it'd still just be another black dress.

I could wear something kinda cute like this, with all the frilly stuffs...but then again, it'd still just be another black dress.

So this is my version of the little black dress... it isnt black at all...but copper browns with some bit of leopard black print. i love being out there. standing out. to a certain degree.

i could go along with something so simple elegant like a white dress with black polkas on it...like this long dior...but couldnt find anything so classy and nicely form fitting like this.

so my last resort...nordstrom rack...because i'm a balla on a budget...
i chose my new favorite color of the season...fushia...magenta... elie tahari dress...almost form fitting...not like this in the photo, but nice enough.

i have to find some accessories and a belt.

i found these totally cute coach heels with metal for the nice thin heels but sorry didnt take a photo of them. i usually hate coach, because every girl with some money thinks that coach is classy... coach is not class. but these dang coach heels are THE only thing coach i would definitely wear.






its too bad that weddings these days...the biggest day of the bride n grooms life...we as guests take so little time and pride to share it with them...many of us are about, the excuse to get dressed up and go to their wedding, as if it were an obligation..., and then stay only until the dinner hour is over, then go off into the club scene...

i know that my cousins wife is so excited for her wedding, its all she been planning for all year long, fussing and fighting with the vendors of food, linen, photography, flowers, and i'm sure the many others. im totally excited for her too, but its so real to see what i see over and over at other weddings...no matter how many friends you have, you dont have many that stay to spend the entire night with you...

i realize that now...that i'm a much older part of my relationship now, im not sure that i would want to spend $20k or more on just a wedding for just any guest list...i know it means alot to them, and they're so excited, for their special day...but if they only know now, what i know...but everyone has their turn of life cycle...i know that when i spend that amount or more on  my 20th mark of a marriage anniversary...i want it to be extra special for the extra close friends and family...maybe gonna fly my immediate family to that secluded island and have the best day/week ever with them...i can't decide and i can't wait to see what comes of my 20 year anniversary planning...three years in advance! i better make it the best years ever!

Crazy about USVI

the girls are in USVI...i miss it...being on vacation...doing nothing...no responsibilities...just 7 days of full relaxation. i can't wait till i can take a 7 day vacation every month! ha!

simple fashion elegance...
no forced straightened hair,
barely there makeup,
comfortable simple flip flops,
moo moos and a belt are the
favorite.

i guess you could spend some
major money on a good pair of
fashionable sunglasses and
bathing suit, if you want to do that.

i finally just posted all my memories
of USVI for the whole friends list
to see on FB...unprivate, but i wanna
share the memories...

he still liked me when i looked...'natural'...
everything looks nice on the island...i'm my
most biggest critic...i hate how i look, and EVEN
i liked myself...

the beer did not have anything to do with our like
for eachother... away from home... daily stress...
work...bills...and our cell phones didnt work, we
had a great time...pure relaxation and took the
time to enjoy eachother and our company with
eachother. I miss that. I can't wait for our next
vacation...

Fashionable Family

MN Fashion is the worst...and today was raining,
make MN people, maybe including myself, were so mugly.

I wish there was more fashionable people in MN, so that
I could copy pieces of them and make it my own. I wish
that I would see more fashionable people so that I could
blog daily about the different fashionable people that I saw.

Oh well, work with what I have, and that's NONE!

It's 1:46am and I'm taking a break from working on my
totes. Yeah I started sewing a tote since 830pm...well
babysitting kiddies ALL of them, is no joke, plus trying
to do something on the side, is a crazy task...the babies
are crazy running around, even my two girlies came to
hide out with me in my sewing room...trying to get away
from the task of chasing after all the babies.

I guess I'll finish the evening with my blog and shower
I'm so tired. I have all the babies in my room TOO :(
We'll see how this evening goes... ha, baby baby is on a
third shift schedule :) she's so cute, but does not sleep
when the house sleeps...she's on her daddys schedule.

Anyways, working on totes again. Not the rice bag totes
though, but I should go back to that, so that I dont waste
so much fabric, and the bags look different. I'm just so
lazy. Sheesh...anyways...gotta shut down the workspace
shower n then sleep...SOOO TIRED....

good night.

Another great Birthday dinner...

Today was another great birthday dinner two nights in a row...
Celebrating with my greatest hair stylist cousin best friend
Marina Moua who currently works at Moxie Uptown, MN

and the other...I dont have a photo of but she's one of my
new best friends...from Michigan/North Carolina, and shares
the same kind of  long frustrating patient marriage experience
as I do.

The girls and I went out to LemonGrass restaurant out in
Brooklyn Park, MN and had some fantastic duck larb
and the Americans would spell it

It was quite delicious, although some thought it not
so much this time. The other great dish...and I always
love noodle dishes...pad thai...

but then soon after
the ten minutes of fast eating on a hungry stomach
all the food started to taste all the same...same sauce
same smell same taste...

all still yummy though. it was great that my new best
friend could come out. her husband, another story
for the BUM at the McDonalds...like mine :)

anyways..she mentioned that she never went out for
her birthday :( so sad... but now is good, we old
married peoples with ten kids have been excepted
into the younger old girls group and found some
great friends...and with finding eachother thats great
all in itself.

tonight my other 10 kiddie best friend was babysitting
her sisters child, as her sister had a premature baby...
at the hospital...

when i think of babies...premies...my sisters and family
were the best! i had THREE weeks at the hospital and
my siblings took care of my three older ones while i was
at the hospital trying to breast feed and care for mine
and force him out quick style :)

happy evening. this has been another great evening.

The Mojo is Back!

my hype for life is back. i can't wait.
maybe it just takes...separating from
daily things that matter, but i also have
to remember that i have to do the things
that make me LIVE.

last night i go on and on thinking about
how i get my small break into fashion...
i just thought to myself...PERFECT
usage of CHAT already broken into the
scene and connections...so i'll hit up
a major volunteer fashion gig.

anyways, i'm meeting with kathy, to go
over a few things that we may find
helpful to continue and grow FT for CHAT
for the designers and hook up with MNFashion.
I love it. I'm so into it. I hope that my real life
can keep up with my fake life.

next week i meet with PFT Couture to
go over some similar topics...etc. we'll
see what comes of that.

here's a piece of PFT Couture that I
really love

its gonna be fun its gonna be what
i wanna do its gonna be busy and
most definitly it's gonna be a challenge
i'm so excited i can't wait!

i can't wait to be the self proclaimed
Hmong version of Anna Wintour
hahaha!

good thoughts good evening
happy reading!

Birthday Dinner + Casino + Family :)

most fantastic buffet birthday dinner ever!
i usually don't like buffets, but this
casino buffet was DEEEEELISH!

prime rib plates and plates full of crab legs
and all you want GOOD desserts! YUM!

Happy Birthday!

the casino part of it was...scary...kinda like a
football game...it's the first of the month, we're
business owners, our clientele are senior citizens
with teleHMONG...sheesh! embarrassing!
ducking left and right...i shoulda known to remember
it's the first of the month...and me n mil goes
there WITHOUT our husbands! what a story to tell
on the teleHMONG!

tonight was a good night, happy days :)

tomorrow afterwork, i meet with a craigslist LV
bag seller...hmmmm we'll see what comes of that
i'm such an LV junkie. then i meet up with the girlies
for dinner at lemongrass in brooklyn park, i can't wait!

 what do get nana!

1 day FOCUS Foundation

so its kinda a joke, but not really...
i need to focus.
i'm so scattered brain'd when it comes to focusing.

i love too many things
too many areas of interests
plus i'm getting old
i feel like i dont have enough time to do it all
so i do it all at ONCE!

crazy!

for sure something that has never gone out of style
is my husband and kids, for the last 17 years and
my love for fashion, purse collecting (esp. LV), shoes

i guess its kinda good that im not like some others
who dont get enough attention from their husbands
so they go out and find another...i dont get enough
attention from my husband...and i get another 1 day
foundation...

i love my life
i love my kids
i love my husband
i love my family
i love my ever changing foundations

i'm in love!

keep your secret thoughts...SECRET!

so blogging is PUBLIC hahahaha dumb me!
keep my mad crazy in the moment thoughts to myself! sheesh.

keep my ghetto class to a down low
don't stoop that low

anyways...something to do...when i'm feeling stupid ghetto upset
dont put it in writing. dont tell anyone close. tell that damn BUM
on the street and buy him/her a cup of coffee and conversate over
McDonalds...he/she wont care...and they wont be related to
anyone significant.

or just refocus the in the moment negative energy towards...
things that matter...to me, my kids, my life...

find that secret best friend...who...again is of no relation
and will be on your side through thick and thin and through
your bad days and good days and still like you all the time
not when its convenient and when it most benefits them

happy days and thoughts all the time.

Late Night Fashion ending thought

ok...so before I lay down to sleep, I was thinking so many things...while others buy real coach bags and big suv's with their new found money, I want to found a foundation...for FASHION loveist like myself and also look into many lower income housing...because when you help others...you help yourself... that's what i learned in real estate, if you keep all the money to yourself, uncle sam will make sure that he gets his part.

i was thinking of a foundation that offers sponsorship/donation/scholarship/grants to help those who are serious about Fashion and Arts, pursue those dreams with a little bit of cash donation/sponsorship, scholarship/grant help plus the updated resource lists. how does that sound? also maybe offering some hands on basics help from volunteers in those fields.

and with the lower income housing, i would love to find a barely run down smaller apartment complex that i would be so lucky to have found that needs no more than new carpet and paint, that i can buy very affordably and then turn into affordable housing for those who qualify and need it.

those are my two passions, fashion arts and real estate.

then at the end of the day, after i've made progress with helping others, i would love to help myself buy many of the many real LV bags :) i just can't choose, so hopefully after all the hard work, i won't have to choose, and can afford all of them!

A beautiful closet...

I woke up this morning, refreshed-ish, and getting ready for work.

My morning essentials: foundation to cover up the mugly acne scars and others, powder to set that stain, then a bit of eye shadow to highlight my eyes, of course the eyeliner to draw that lining of my eyes and the mascara to bring out my lashes, brush a bit of blush to bring out some of my cheeky bones, and then gloss to shine up my lips...and there with all that, my facade of a natural look...too bad I don't have a photo to show you.

After getting my make up on...I have to straighten my hair. My hair is naturally curly/wavy, so I have to straighten every morning, otherwise I have to put product in...

Anyways after getting my hair and face ready...I go to my closet, it may seem like I have alot of clothes, but I have nothing to wear...my dream closet for my dream house...to come...very soon... ha! I found this on the web, I think it's Christina Agulara for a Vogue shoot or something.

I LOVE it! I can't wait to build a separate closet just for my shoes, then purses, belts, and everything else too! How lovely it would be to have such an amazing closet space...with cool carpet :)

Memorial Day part 2...

An entire day at the lake/beach with the kiddies.
They're almost crispy black now.
I found some inspirational beachwear...in my signature color...RED :)

This is something CUTE I found on www.polyvore.com

I absolutely love it. I can't wait for more days at the beach.













Something else I found was this retro page of swimwear from www.stylishthought.com below

Full of great retro swim pieces.
I can't wait to find something so cute!
or make it...












I just thought this was a great image below...so I through it in for my future fashion inspirations...
the image is from http://www.theage.com.au

Cute...nice bangs...and I LOVE THE RED...it's probably why I chose it...I'm so into red...I'm claiming it to be my signature color.















This image below is the ONLY brunette Barbie photo in retro that I found.
It's so cute...I found it on vi.sualize.us/.../

She's in today's topic...retro swim wear and cool sunglasses, she's got a cool little video camera too.

I'd like to end today's blog with a nice little thought. Retro swimwear...MAY hide some of those unwanted cushions on the side and front of my body, that I truly hate hate hate.

Memorial Day...2010

 

Waking up to an Anna Wintour feeling classy and beautiful. Too bad I'm not at my closet and don't have the outfit to fit the day. Oh well. I still feel good. I guess our secret wasn't a secret after all...it IS his family that we live with. Anyways, I kinda wanna take a bit of a break to shop and vintage shop, but we'll see. I planned to take the kiddies swimming with MY crazy family at the lake...

But at least i feel ok...and have my magazines. That's all I need today. Can I be like Anna Wintour? Can i just be by myself, with my kiddies, with no one to take care of me? I will be strong. I think I've just fallen into this feeling of always having someone there, because I got married at such a young age, had children and always lived with his family...I'm sure he feels the same. We just need our space sometimes...

I wanna go out to the park and look and feel like Anna Wintour. So...I do.

Let's get the day started...breakfast with the kiddies...shower...then dress for the lake/beach/kiddie birthday with the family.

Happy Memorial Day!

I'm a little bit of each of them...

Late night thinking...can't sleep...addicted to this blogging.
As I sit here looking...looking...up fashion 'stuffs'...I think I'm a little bit of each of the SATC girls...I wish I had a buncha soul mates like them. That's every bit special and missing.

I know I'm definitely anal and optimistic ditz like Charlotte, sometimes strong enough in alot of ways, but just don't notice it much, like Miranda, wants to maintain a bit of a cougar way about me and stay in touch with my body needs, and I LOVE fashion like Carrie does...my closet is about to explode, I share with my husband.

I can't believe I never watched the series before...but then again, I really never let myself watch too much tv. When I watch this, I'm a bit jealous of the friendship they have, I want to find and maintain a really strong friendship like the one they have...through thick and thin, I would like to have someone to talk to, with no family ties, no judging, just on my side, but keep me humble and level headed, but able to tell me to truth that hurts, just be there to listen...and let me vent, able to share anything and everything.

Late Night Wish List

THE SHOES!
Christian Louboutin

Dunno who built this outfit,
but it looks great with the SHOES!

Late Night Fashion

Late night Fashion research...

May 30, 2010 Ran away today and its late at night

Woke up this morning with the intention to run away from all the...stuff...snuck off with the kiddies and spent the day in a private Forest Lake resort. Had the time to let the kiddies swim outside on the deck, while I took a nice nap.

I then ran off to get the order from Sam's Club, sent that off and then came back with the rest of the evening doing my fashion research, in peace. No interruptions of male needed things. Just simple restful space is where I am at today.

Today was a good day.

Anyways...I'm starting up again on my weekend blogging. I think before, I was trying to do it everyday, which seemed too much and then I quit. But now I see that others have been doing it on the weekends and its just nice.

These past few weeks I've caught and bought a few movies, to my liking, to my interest, The September Issue, Coco before Chanel, Sex and the City Movie, and caught the second one on the big screen, I also bought and watched Rachel Zoe, which was not that great, but did give a good insight on a stylist and what their daily job duty is...and that's to lug around a whole buncha shizite just to...lug it all back :( blah.

Anyways, I'm back to loving fashion, I think I was always, but didn't have much time to it. I can't wait to make the money, and build something around fashion...on the side :)

I'm excited to volunteer for Center for Hmong Arts and Talent [CHAT] and be on their VIP committee for the annual fashion show 'Fresh Traditions'. Dunno what I will be doing yet, but Kathy says bring on the ideas and suggestions. So I have to ask a few questions first, to even know what to think about. I need to know the location/venue, the time of season...anyways lots to know before I can think about anything else.

FOR SURE I will need to think about contributors, who will contribute and who will be willing to contribute for this event. What are they expecting? What should they get? I guess I have to review in my thoughts what I saw last year, they VIP guests got front row seats, a booth, liquor, and a take away.

With every year Fresh Traditions getting bigger and better, I want this year to be more exceptional too. But what to do, what to do...

*ADD_What I wore today

* ADD Restart.
Today I'm beginning a blog about what I wore to work.
Yeah, well its a boring life of a 1976 born wife of almost
17 years and 4 children.

The outfit begins like this:
Black turtleneck over a turquois evening dress.

Ok well its quite chilly outside, so I added some
dumb black non-opque stockings. FOBBY!

I added these Tory Burch wedges on my way out. They're so comfy, they're my everyday favorite.

Then of course my new Anne Klein watch, I picked it up from TJMaxx...even though its a tad heavy for my little wrist, its got a GREAT wrist links, I LOVE IT.

Well finishing off with my new coat from H&M
I got yesterday, while shopping for Donna's bday.
Its kinda cute, but for some reason...these photos
make me look like those of stars in People Magazine,
big on top and squeezy small on the bottome.

of course dont forget the everything in the purse,
LV duffle bag, a gift from Donna at Xmas time.

Just one more photo before I leave for work.
I'm so MUGLY, I can't take face photos.