The grass is greener...

So my husband says to me...'Pick a side', not everyone will like you,
there will be some who like you and everything about you, those who
only like you sometimes... and there will be those you will be enviously hating you,
because they don't have what you have and like what you like, and then
there will be those who just plainly don't like you.

I keep dreaming about her, and she's not even a great
friend, but the friend, who used to be
a friend, I met her back in High School, we became
friends, and now she's married to them, and they hated
her, but more importantly they hate me, so she tries
so hard to be on their side, and hates me along with
them...how long will that last. I just, in my own delusion
think that I didn't do anything wrong and that she
being my so called 'friend' should think for herself
and not follow the group...ugh oh well...

I guess in life, people are always thinking that
grass is greener on the other side...little do they know that
...its kinda dark in the shadows, patchy spots of yellow mugness,
and then of course there are those perfect spots of fabulously
green grass...

Everyone worked for what they have...

I think I worked hard to get to where I am, and for what I have.
But I dont have everything. I guess some people are envious, some
are jealous, and thank goodness for those few who are genuinely happy for me.

I'm getting old, have four almost to be grown children, I guess its
right like my husband says...'Pick a Side' and I guess I should
think, to be my good friend, you know that I have my crazy ADD disorder
but you still love me, know that I more than occasionally say things that are inappropriate
but forgive me, because that's me...I'm mid life...if you don't like it, you won't like
me, I couldn't change it before, I can't change it now so that you'll be my friend.
I have my crazy quirks, but if you know me, I genuinely love my family and friends
and if you're in my circle...I do anything for you...and mostly not ever ask for anything
in return, not even payment...accept for tolerating me...genuinely.

I grew up with my husband and then quickly grew a small family
within the extended family, so I didnt have 'time' like most to make
friends and go out.

I followed the directions of all my parents both IL and my own to
hopefully not make a mistake and only get the best of it

Just now am I getting to live life to the fullest, having come almost
fully circle, with my husband, my children, my inlaws, my career, my business,
my happiness, and coming up soon here, my reestablished credit and hopeful
money generation for my future.

Don't think that I didn't work for it. I did.
And now my grass is mostly green...don't hate.
Just work on yours, it'll get there soon.

Little Black Dress...

With my cousins wedding a week away...I haven't taken the initiative to go shopping
until last night...spent the sunny part of the evening indoors at Mall of America...boo hoo me.
I know I have some dresses...BUT i wanted to get another...or two.

I get to thinking...should I do the simple black dress? NAWWW the many others definately will...

I could wear something as crazy flashy like this...but then again, it'd still just be another black dress.

I could wear something kinda cute like this, with all the frilly stuffs...but then again, it'd still just be another black dress.

So this is my version of the little black dress... it isnt black at all...but copper browns with some bit of leopard black print. i love being out there. standing out. to a certain degree.

i could go along with something so simple elegant like a white dress with black polkas on it...like this long dior...but couldnt find anything so classy and nicely form fitting like this.

so my last resort...nordstrom rack...because i'm a balla on a budget...
i chose my new favorite color of the season...fushia...magenta... elie tahari dress...almost form fitting...not like this in the photo, but nice enough.

i have to find some accessories and a belt.

i found these totally cute coach heels with metal for the nice thin heels but sorry didnt take a photo of them. i usually hate coach, because every girl with some money thinks that coach is classy... coach is not class. but these dang coach heels are THE only thing coach i would definitely wear.






its too bad that weddings these days...the biggest day of the bride n grooms life...we as guests take so little time and pride to share it with them...many of us are about, the excuse to get dressed up and go to their wedding, as if it were an obligation..., and then stay only until the dinner hour is over, then go off into the club scene...

i know that my cousins wife is so excited for her wedding, its all she been planning for all year long, fussing and fighting with the vendors of food, linen, photography, flowers, and i'm sure the many others. im totally excited for her too, but its so real to see what i see over and over at other weddings...no matter how many friends you have, you dont have many that stay to spend the entire night with you...

i realize that now...that i'm a much older part of my relationship now, im not sure that i would want to spend $20k or more on just a wedding for just any guest list...i know it means alot to them, and they're so excited, for their special day...but if they only know now, what i know...but everyone has their turn of life cycle...i know that when i spend that amount or more on  my 20th mark of a marriage anniversary...i want it to be extra special for the extra close friends and family...maybe gonna fly my immediate family to that secluded island and have the best day/week ever with them...i can't decide and i can't wait to see what comes of my 20 year anniversary planning...three years in advance! i better make it the best years ever!

Crazy about USVI

the girls are in USVI...i miss it...being on vacation...doing nothing...no responsibilities...just 7 days of full relaxation. i can't wait till i can take a 7 day vacation every month! ha!

simple fashion elegance...
no forced straightened hair,
barely there makeup,
comfortable simple flip flops,
moo moos and a belt are the
favorite.

i guess you could spend some
major money on a good pair of
fashionable sunglasses and
bathing suit, if you want to do that.

i finally just posted all my memories
of USVI for the whole friends list
to see on FB...unprivate, but i wanna
share the memories...

he still liked me when i looked...'natural'...
everything looks nice on the island...i'm my
most biggest critic...i hate how i look, and EVEN
i liked myself...

the beer did not have anything to do with our like
for eachother... away from home... daily stress...
work...bills...and our cell phones didnt work, we
had a great time...pure relaxation and took the
time to enjoy eachother and our company with
eachother. I miss that. I can't wait for our next
vacation...

Fashionable Family

MN Fashion is the worst...and today was raining,
make MN people, maybe including myself, were so mugly.

I wish there was more fashionable people in MN, so that
I could copy pieces of them and make it my own. I wish
that I would see more fashionable people so that I could
blog daily about the different fashionable people that I saw.

Oh well, work with what I have, and that's NONE!

It's 1:46am and I'm taking a break from working on my
totes. Yeah I started sewing a tote since 830pm...well
babysitting kiddies ALL of them, is no joke, plus trying
to do something on the side, is a crazy task...the babies
are crazy running around, even my two girlies came to
hide out with me in my sewing room...trying to get away
from the task of chasing after all the babies.

I guess I'll finish the evening with my blog and shower
I'm so tired. I have all the babies in my room TOO :(
We'll see how this evening goes... ha, baby baby is on a
third shift schedule :) she's so cute, but does not sleep
when the house sleeps...she's on her daddys schedule.

Anyways, working on totes again. Not the rice bag totes
though, but I should go back to that, so that I dont waste
so much fabric, and the bags look different. I'm just so
lazy. Sheesh...anyways...gotta shut down the workspace
shower n then sleep...SOOO TIRED....

good night.

Another great Birthday dinner...

Today was another great birthday dinner two nights in a row...
Celebrating with my greatest hair stylist cousin best friend
Marina Moua who currently works at Moxie Uptown, MN

and the other...I dont have a photo of but she's one of my
new best friends...from Michigan/North Carolina, and shares
the same kind of  long frustrating patient marriage experience
as I do.

The girls and I went out to LemonGrass restaurant out in
Brooklyn Park, MN and had some fantastic duck larb
and the Americans would spell it

It was quite delicious, although some thought it not
so much this time. The other great dish...and I always
love noodle dishes...pad thai...

but then soon after
the ten minutes of fast eating on a hungry stomach
all the food started to taste all the same...same sauce
same smell same taste...

all still yummy though. it was great that my new best
friend could come out. her husband, another story
for the BUM at the McDonalds...like mine :)

anyways..she mentioned that she never went out for
her birthday :( so sad... but now is good, we old
married peoples with ten kids have been excepted
into the younger old girls group and found some
great friends...and with finding eachother thats great
all in itself.

tonight my other 10 kiddie best friend was babysitting
her sisters child, as her sister had a premature baby...
at the hospital...

when i think of babies...premies...my sisters and family
were the best! i had THREE weeks at the hospital and
my siblings took care of my three older ones while i was
at the hospital trying to breast feed and care for mine
and force him out quick style :)

happy evening. this has been another great evening.

The Mojo is Back!

my hype for life is back. i can't wait.
maybe it just takes...separating from
daily things that matter, but i also have
to remember that i have to do the things
that make me LIVE.

last night i go on and on thinking about
how i get my small break into fashion...
i just thought to myself...PERFECT
usage of CHAT already broken into the
scene and connections...so i'll hit up
a major volunteer fashion gig.

anyways, i'm meeting with kathy, to go
over a few things that we may find
helpful to continue and grow FT for CHAT
for the designers and hook up with MNFashion.
I love it. I'm so into it. I hope that my real life
can keep up with my fake life.

next week i meet with PFT Couture to
go over some similar topics...etc. we'll
see what comes of that.

here's a piece of PFT Couture that I
really love

its gonna be fun its gonna be what
i wanna do its gonna be busy and
most definitly it's gonna be a challenge
i'm so excited i can't wait!

i can't wait to be the self proclaimed
Hmong version of Anna Wintour
hahaha!

good thoughts good evening
happy reading!

Birthday Dinner + Casino + Family :)

most fantastic buffet birthday dinner ever!
i usually don't like buffets, but this
casino buffet was DEEEEELISH!

prime rib plates and plates full of crab legs
and all you want GOOD desserts! YUM!

Happy Birthday!

the casino part of it was...scary...kinda like a
football game...it's the first of the month, we're
business owners, our clientele are senior citizens
with teleHMONG...sheesh! embarrassing!
ducking left and right...i shoulda known to remember
it's the first of the month...and me n mil goes
there WITHOUT our husbands! what a story to tell
on the teleHMONG!

tonight was a good night, happy days :)

tomorrow afterwork, i meet with a craigslist LV
bag seller...hmmmm we'll see what comes of that
i'm such an LV junkie. then i meet up with the girlies
for dinner at lemongrass in brooklyn park, i can't wait!

 what do get nana!

1 day FOCUS Foundation

so its kinda a joke, but not really...
i need to focus.
i'm so scattered brain'd when it comes to focusing.

i love too many things
too many areas of interests
plus i'm getting old
i feel like i dont have enough time to do it all
so i do it all at ONCE!

crazy!

for sure something that has never gone out of style
is my husband and kids, for the last 17 years and
my love for fashion, purse collecting (esp. LV), shoes

i guess its kinda good that im not like some others
who dont get enough attention from their husbands
so they go out and find another...i dont get enough
attention from my husband...and i get another 1 day
foundation...

i love my life
i love my kids
i love my husband
i love my family
i love my ever changing foundations

i'm in love!

keep your secret thoughts...SECRET!

so blogging is PUBLIC hahahaha dumb me!
keep my mad crazy in the moment thoughts to myself! sheesh.

keep my ghetto class to a down low
don't stoop that low

anyways...something to do...when i'm feeling stupid ghetto upset
dont put it in writing. dont tell anyone close. tell that damn BUM
on the street and buy him/her a cup of coffee and conversate over
McDonalds...he/she wont care...and they wont be related to
anyone significant.

or just refocus the in the moment negative energy towards...
things that matter...to me, my kids, my life...

find that secret best friend...who...again is of no relation
and will be on your side through thick and thin and through
your bad days and good days and still like you all the time
not when its convenient and when it most benefits them

happy days and thoughts all the time.

Late Night Fashion ending thought

ok...so before I lay down to sleep, I was thinking so many things...while others buy real coach bags and big suv's with their new found money, I want to found a foundation...for FASHION loveist like myself and also look into many lower income housing...because when you help others...you help yourself... that's what i learned in real estate, if you keep all the money to yourself, uncle sam will make sure that he gets his part.

i was thinking of a foundation that offers sponsorship/donation/scholarship/grants to help those who are serious about Fashion and Arts, pursue those dreams with a little bit of cash donation/sponsorship, scholarship/grant help plus the updated resource lists. how does that sound? also maybe offering some hands on basics help from volunteers in those fields.

and with the lower income housing, i would love to find a barely run down smaller apartment complex that i would be so lucky to have found that needs no more than new carpet and paint, that i can buy very affordably and then turn into affordable housing for those who qualify and need it.

those are my two passions, fashion arts and real estate.

then at the end of the day, after i've made progress with helping others, i would love to help myself buy many of the many real LV bags :) i just can't choose, so hopefully after all the hard work, i won't have to choose, and can afford all of them!

A beautiful closet...

I woke up this morning, refreshed-ish, and getting ready for work.

My morning essentials: foundation to cover up the mugly acne scars and others, powder to set that stain, then a bit of eye shadow to highlight my eyes, of course the eyeliner to draw that lining of my eyes and the mascara to bring out my lashes, brush a bit of blush to bring out some of my cheeky bones, and then gloss to shine up my lips...and there with all that, my facade of a natural look...too bad I don't have a photo to show you.

After getting my make up on...I have to straighten my hair. My hair is naturally curly/wavy, so I have to straighten every morning, otherwise I have to put product in...

Anyways after getting my hair and face ready...I go to my closet, it may seem like I have alot of clothes, but I have nothing to wear...my dream closet for my dream house...to come...very soon... ha! I found this on the web, I think it's Christina Agulara for a Vogue shoot or something.

I LOVE it! I can't wait to build a separate closet just for my shoes, then purses, belts, and everything else too! How lovely it would be to have such an amazing closet space...with cool carpet :)